Do You Feel Like The Time You Were Married Seems Wasted Somehow

Posted on April 17, 2019 | 0 comments

No, it was NOT wasted, time that has gone is never a waste and the time you spent with your partner was not a waste. I often hear people say that they can’t believe they spent all that time with someone and now the relationship has broken down and they feel like the time with them was all wasted, well unless the pair of you spent all your time, 24-7, 7 days a week sat indoors saying nothing to each other then the time was definitely NOT wasted… it has changed you as a person and some time in the future you will recognize that the period of your life contributed positively to get you right where you were supposed to be in order to be happy.

I spent 17 years with my ex, a lot of the time the relationship was not great, it was pretty horrific in places and when he left me for someone else I thought to myself, why didn’t I recognize the signs and take notice of them right at the start, I had opportunities to dump him and run at the very beginning of our relationship, the warning signs were all there but I thought everything would work out, I’d be the one that he wanted to be with forever and I forgave him and stuck with it, and it did work for quite a few years, I got to see parts of the world I would have never have otherwise seen, I discovered a love of Bernese Mountain Dogs and still have one now, because of our relationship I was able to breed and show them and I adore them, always will and some of the people I met through them having puppies and dog showing are still really important friendships to me. I also had the time and money through that relationship to return to studying and I became a Master Practitioner in NLP Hypnotherapy and a Life Coach , I was able to have my own business and regularly went networking and made friends that I am still close to today… does any of that sound like a waste of time?

When everything is crumbling around us and we cannot see what lies ahead in the future we tend to focus on the negative, when my ex left I pretty much hit rock bottom, and from that I learnt how incredibly strong I am as a person, I had little or no money at one point, could not afford to heat the house and it was the middle of winter and freezing. I dreaded the nights because it would get so cold and I went to bed wearing layers and layers of clothes, in a sleeping bag, in bed to try and keep warm… and I did, I survived and I know for a fact that no matter what happens to me in future I would be ok, and thats a REALLY valuable less to learn because I now feel pretty much invincible, and no one can take that away from me.

One day, I guarantee you will look back and you will see that in your relationship you leant exactly what you needed to learn, and you grew in such a specific way that it lead you to something wonderful. I spent 4 years putting myself back together, going on what seemed like thousands of first dates and I enjoyed myself. During that 4 years someone I hadn’t even met yet got married, the marriage went horribly wrong and they found themselves at one of the lowest points of their lives, until they decided that they would start dating again, our paths crossed for a first date and the  rest they say is history, we are both happier than we’ve ever been together and we have a gorgeous daughter. If I’d have dumped my ex all those years ago when I saw the initial signs I would be where I am today…

I know when a relationship breaks up it seems like the time you spent was wasted, but its not, its given you the lessons and the learnings you need to move on to the next chapter of your life, and the next part of your life will probably be the BEST chapter of your life….


When you are ready to start your next chapter, come join my Facebook Page – Conquer Heartbreak where you can get some great tips and ideas about moving on…



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