Forgiveness is all about You, NOT the other person…

Posted on April 23, 2019 | 0 comments

Forgiveness is a powerful thing to help you move forward, but I often hear people say ‘I can’t forgive him, he’s ruined our family, he ruined my life’ Forgiveness is NOT about the other person, yes you are forgiving them for causing you the biggest pain you’ve probably ever been through, but you are NOT saying you are over it or that its ok.

Forgiveness was put wonderfully but the fabulous lady Oprah Winfrey, “ forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.” .. I love that because in letting go of that hope you are then able to move forward to the future.  Forgiveness does not say that what another person did to you, or the trauma or grief or pain that you went through was OK, it was not OK, but when you forgive you stop letting that pain effect you any longer, it frees you to be able to move forward.

I often see comments about divorce years ago, people saying that they have been divorced 3 years or 5 years and still cry all the time and are lonely and cannot move forward. This is because they are engrossed in the past, their thinking is about the past and they spend all their time wishing that the past was different, unfortunately the past will NEVER change, no matter how often we think about it or cry about it, its happened, the only thing you have control over is the future and when you catch yourself thinking about the past and wishing your family was still together, you were all blissfully happy etc you will only drag yourself down.

Theres a few techniques you can do to help yo with forgiveness and letting go, the easiest one is to wrote all the bad things down, all the hurt and pain, and then read them to yourself and say, for that I forgive you… such as , the time you opened the gate to the road and threatened to let my dogs all loose if I walked away, I forgive you for that (Yes, using my own experience here) and each thing, read it, acknowledge it and forgive it…. and then set light to that piece of paper and let all the words disappear in front of your eyes, and make a promise to yourself that once the words are all gone, you will let the pain go with it…

Theres something very therapeutic about burning a piece of paper and watching it vanish, there are also a couple of really good mediations that you can do along similar lines, I’ll be exploring them in my facebook group some come on over if you are interested in learning more about letting go and moving on…, come join my Facebook Page – Conquer Heartbreak … https://www.facebook.com/groups/ConquerHeartbreak/

 

 

 

 

 

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