How Can My Ex Move On So Quickly?
One of the things that makes heartbreak worse is seeing your ex move on, and this can be compounded when it seems to be so quick, I hear women all the time say ‘How can he get engaged already, we are not even divorced yet’ or ‘How can he be living with her and saying he’s in love when he only told me he loved me last week?’ It makes you feel replaced, worthless and as though your life with your ex was worthless and had no value to them.
When a relationship ends one or both of the parties has already checked out of the relationship, the person that ended the relationship decided months ago that they had had enough and they were going to leave, emotionally they detached from you when they made that decision and Yes, its horrible to hear but when they were still telling you they loved you that was out of habit and not wanting to hurt your feelings, or not being quite ready to end it all, and this is how they are able to seemingly move on so quick, they started the process months ago and are further along the road than you are… it doesn’t mean they loved you less or the relationship meant less, it just means they went through the process earlier than you… they are further along the queue and no matter how unfair this seems or how hurtful it feels it will not change.
The one thing you can do to help yourself with this part of the break up is to stop comparing your journey with your ex’s, stop stalking their Instagram and their Facebook, stop looking at their pictures or logging into anything that you have passwords for and you know you shouldn’t be looking at, I know its hard, but its the only way to stop torturing yourself. Let me tell you now, in no uncertain terms…. You are NEVER going to see the status, or get the information that you want…. NEVER! Would you feel better if you saw a status from your ex that said he was miserable and wished he was back with you? No – you’d feel angry and frustrated that he’s put you through so much crap for nothing… Do you feel better when you see a status about how happy he is, that he’s never know love like he has now? Of Course not, that just makes you feel worthless… but the truth is they probably are happier than ever, we all feel that way when we are with someone new, we all want to think that this new relationship is THE ONE, the Utopia we’ve been looking for because NO ONE wants to ever believe that they screwed up in the past and got it wrong… you’ll never meet anyone in a relationship that says the one they are in is not as good as the last one, otherwise they wouldn’t be in it!
They key is don’t stalk your ex, it will give you nothing but pain and will never give you the answers you are looking for and they will never give you the closure you want, the only way you can do that is to get comfortable with not knowing ALL the answers… it happened, you did NOT fail, the relationship broke, often because of a million different things and some time in the future you will be able to identify those myriad of small things and you will be able to learn from them to make a future relationship better but you cannot go back and fix it… walk away with your head up…
When you are ready to start your next chapter, come join my Facebook Page – Conquer Heartbreak where you can get some great tips and ideas about moving on… https://www.facebook.com/groups/ConquerHeartbreak/