How could he just stop loving me overnight?
Well the truth is, he didn’t, it wasn’t one SINGLE thing that you did, it wasn’t one wrong thing that you said, he just stopped loving you over time, and generally people in unhappy marriages start to look for solutions before they leave that marriage or talk to their partner and that’s the cold hard truth about it, because often the solution they find is to be with someone else.
Yes, he may have told you last week that he loved you and then this week that he’s leaving you – but he just wasn’t ready to have the conversation last week.
It really hurts when someone stops wanting to be with you, and many of us are with someone decades and we think that’s our life forever, so it comes as a massive shock., but its not your fault, its not you that has changed, his priorities changed and you and your relationship are no longer the priority.
I often get asked how the ex can be so cold and horrible and so mean? Its because that’s easy – for a man a row with you just enforces to himself that he’s made the right decision (I’m saying man but it can equally be a woman that is leaving and they are just the same!) Petty squabbling and what seems like behaviour that isn’t normally them is because they want to be right… no one wants to leave a long term relationship and then spend the next 20 years regretting their decision, they want to have made the right decision. Its why the new woman is declared to be the love of their life, the one they’ve always been looking for, of course they are… they can’t NOT be.
The important thing to remember is that your ex’s actions are NOT about you, they are NOT a statement about your relationship, how meaningful it was or how much they loved you or anything like that. Your ex’s actions are a direct response to the dialogue they are using for themselves about the choices they’ve made…
When you are ready to start your next chapter, come join my Facebook Page – Conquer Heartbreak where you can get some great tips and ideas about moving on… https://www.facebook.com/groups/ConquerHeartbreak/